They say that zoo animals live better lives when zoos try to emulate a realistic environment. They are more intellectually active, eat better, live longer, and get more exercise. The same could be said for humans.

We’re doing some expansion work at Ball Office Products, and after consultation with leading zoologists and behavior analysts, have decided to build a simulated habitat for our sales staff. We hope that this will help with their behavior, and they’ll start eating better. Should you visit, however, we urge you to use caution. They are wildly unpredictable and notoriously difficult to work with.